Skin Cancer...

Hi Everybody,

First of all, let me apologize for being gone from here for SOOOOOOO long. Honestly, Brizzee and I haven't really played that much in the last few months. My Grandmother passed away in July and things have been pretty hectic here. The weather's been uncomfortably hot and we haven't done much of anything, really.

A couple of times this summer we've played a little bit in Level 2 and 3 and we've played with Freestyle a little bit, but other than that we haven't done much of anything and I feel completely guilty about that.

But I've realized in the last few weeks how completely I've ignored her. She's my best friend, my partner, and I haven't done my part to improve our relationship and to have a good and strong friendship.I've failed.

So from now on, that will change. Every week/day I will play with her, or at the very least spend time with her. And I hope to take a couple videos each month of what we're playing with and hopefully see the improvements in me as her friend rather than her "trainer", which is what I've been doing all along, I think...

Starting today, this month (October) things are going to change. I'm not going to ignore my horse anymore. I'm going to play with her and spend a lot more time with her and give updates at least once a month or more...unless something else goes wrong.

Right now I'm really worried about Brizzee though. I've lived with my dad all the month of September but this Friday I'll be moving back in with my mom where I can see Brizzee every day. But according to my mom Brizzee has bad spots all over her back end and beneath her tail. Normally Brizzee keeps her tail tightly clamped down, but according to my mom she's carrying her tail up all the time and she's been even crabbier to the horses. Mom thinks it's skin cancer and I'm very worried about my horse.

This has opened my eyes and made me realize how terrible of a friend I have been to my horse. I lost my brother in December, I lost my grandma in July, my mom had her left eye removed on March 31st and we made several trips to Salt Lake, Utah and back for her eye removal and then check ups and then to get her prosthetic eye. And the man we live with, Bob, had his knee surgery in July, and I've been busy helping him with that, also. I've been so busy with everything that I completely neglected my horse.

Now, Brizzee might have cancer. And I'm not there because I chose to move with my dad for a month or so to get away from everything and now my horse might possibly have skin cancer. My mom makes it sound really bad so I don't know what is going to happen. We are going to make her an appointment and get it checked out as soon as possible, and I pray that it's not skin cancer and she'll be okay...the thought of loosing my horse is terrifying.

I love my horse very much and I'm not going to neglect her anymore. She's my friend and she's been through so much. She finally was beginning to open up and let me in, she was finally beginning to trust me, and what did I do then? I got too busy in my life, in the human world, that I just completely neglected her. Sure, I fed her and watered her and petted her every now and then, but I didn't spend any time with her and that's wrong. I'm going to change. I'm going to play with her. Not because she's just a horse. Not because I want to Graduate Level 2, 3 and 4 in the Parelli program. Not because I want to do all the amazing things that everyone else does (which I hate to admit it but that's been my goal almost all along...I just didn't admit it to myself or anyoen else) but because my horse is my friend. My friend. And I am going to treat her like my friend and we are going to play, spend time with each other, and have fun just to be together. Nothing else matters except our relationship, our bond, and our friendship. And that is going to start right now, as soon as I get back home things are going to change...I just pray to God that Briz will be okay. She has to be...

Last night I went back and collected a few videos and pictures of some of the things Brizzee and I have done together--last year and in 2008. I hope that things will change a lot and the next videos I will have of Brizzee and I playing will be much better, as it will just be a video of a couple of ole' friends playing :) If you'd like to check out the videos please visit www.youtube.com/naturalwriter

Thank you for reading and I will definitely keep you updated about Brizzee and how things go at the Vet's next week.

Thanks for reading,
Randa & Brizzee